Sermon: The Marriage Bed

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Prayer,

Father, I ask you to bless your word and the ears that are hearing it today. Guide their minds into understanding through Your Holy Spirit. In the Name of Jesus, AMEN!

Genesis 2:24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

First, let me begin with a small disclaimer. I had a little talk with Jesus before I started working on this sermon, and many times during its research, and just before I came on the air to preach it just now. And I told Him not to trust me with this because I’m not mature enough! So, Lord, if I screw up and get into trouble, it’s on you! I got saddled with it anyway, and I’ve been knowing for years that I had to preach on this. Just hadn’t gotten around to it yet. I did a jam-up Sunday School lesson when I was younger. It was about how we are all naked before God just like when we enter a holy union with each other, that in the same way we are naked before our spouse. Because of what’s been created outside of the Garden of Eden is why I’m having to stand here, sweat, and preach this message with knees knocking. Because of what had been created outside of Eden, we don’t feel comfortable talking about it. God did not intend it to be this way, to be in such a mess!

Okay, Lord, I’ve already told ya, this is on you! I’m just a tiny speck in sinful flesh. I’ll screw it up!

God, our Father, created sex as a very special gift to us, not only to allow us to follow His command to procreate and fill the earth, but also to allow us a glorious pleasure with the one that we have chosen to become one flesh with. This is a commandment as well as a gift. Sex began in Eden.

What was Eden like then? I feel that is an essential question to understanding the gift of sex, especially in our modern day. I get it—it’s hard to relate to a place like the Garden of Eden in our day and age. In Eden, I’m given to understand, that there were no tears, no death, no sorrow, no starvation, all needs were met, and humanity had want of nothing because there they dwelled in the presence of God and walked and talked with him every day.

Yes, but what was love like? I have to take an educated guess here, so bear with me. I would think that since we are commanded to have one person only, you would have your perfect mate and wouldn’t want another, ever. Does that mean that you would be automatically paired with your soul mate in Eden? I don’t know if soul mates existed in Eden or not, but what I am apt to believe is that it wouldn’t matter anyway. You see, there is one key factor that I haven’t mentioned yet: There was no sin in Eden! And because there was no sin in Eden, things that we become worried about today concerning our mates would not even exist there, because most of those things have to do with the sinful state that we are living in right now.

Sex is a gift from God! Satan has tried to take the narrative away from God, as he had attempted to portray Him falsely in all other ways. Satan has been claiming sex as his creation since the Garden of Eden was locked away from fallen humanity. Satan is a liar! Satan is a thief! God created sex! God created pleasure!

Let me say something else here that’s been on my mind for a while. Men, you’re missing out! Christian women have God on their side, and God condones marriage because He instituted it! Christian women can satisfy a man like no other can! The same goes for a Christian man, no other like him!

Oh, now, ladies, please don’t tell me that you kicked the Holy Spirit out of the bedroom when you got married! Really? I’ve heard some say that, and might be a little guilty of it myself!

According to two different studies, one by the Wheatley Institution and another by Stephen Cranney, couples who walk closely with Christ together (those who pray together stay together) have a better and more fulfilling sex life.

What if you’re not married? What about masturbation? The main part of the Bible that is used to claim that masturbation is a sin comes in

Genesis 38:9-10 "But Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother. What he did was wicked in the Lord’s sight; so the Lord put him to death also".

If you read through that scenario in Genesis 38, you will soon see that Onan was commanded to produce a child, but instead, when he reached his climax, he pulled himself out of her, which did not result in a child, and he directly disobeyed God. This situation is about a particular heir. It has nothing to do with masturbation. Remember that God also created sex for pleasure.

One quote I like says:

“A person who is wrongly ashamed of being a sexual creature with sexual desires will quickly feel overwhelmed and helpless because he’s trying to overcome more than just lust—he’s trying to stop being human!” ~ Joshua Harris in Sex Is Not the Problem [Lust Is]

I’m going to start with this verse in Hebrews to make a foundation for what I’m about to tell you.

Hebrews 13:4 "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral."

The marriage bed is one of the most sacred places on earth. It is holy ground. Be very careful, Church, about breaking any vows to that bed!

The Apostle Paul goes on to say in

I Corinthians 7:1-5,9 "Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion."

Our instructions are right there in our Bibles. It’s really simple! Husbands and wives, you are to have sexual desires and get satisfied! Take the time to do so. Love on each other until both of you are happy and content. It’s okay!

Now, I know a lot of you within the sound of my voice are older couples and that’s okay, too. There’s no reason that you should be left out of the conversation. Ladies, if your man is having trouble with sex or cannot have it, he can still feel pleasure. He can also still pleasure you, which you need! That’s right, couples need this from each other. Older couples, you can still give each other pleasure and I would encourage you to try even if you’re not in the mood. You might be surprised.

On this same note, a true woman of God that I highly respect told me this about her attitude towards marriage and the marriage bed: “I give him all he wants.” I think this is an outstanding Christian Lady who is keeping to what God tells her to do! She’s doing exactly what the Bible says to do. Your body is no longer yours. It belongs to your spouse and they can do as they please with it in order to please themselves in the process. Don’t get me wrong, everything that I’m talking about in this sermon is to be done from a place of true love and Godliness. In no way should any harm be done to your spouse. If you are not acting in love, then don’t. Remember that it is given man once to live then the judgement. The marriage bed is pure and holy!

Now here’s the fun(?) part.

The Song of Solomon, or Song of Songs, is a love letter. Some say it is a dual love letter written as a symbol of our union with Jesus as his bride and how he loves us even now. Others see it as a purely physical love letter from Solomon to his beloved. It will enrich you greatly, either way you choose to see it.

Song of Solomon 7:6-9 "How fair and how pleasant you are, O love, with your delights! This stature of yours is like a palm tree, And your breasts like its clusters. I said, “I will go up to the palm tree, I will take hold of its branches.” Let now your breasts be like clusters of the vine, The fragrance of your breath like apples, And the roof of your mouth like the best wine. The wine goes down smoothly for my beloved, Moving gently the lips of sleepers."

Well, Solomon couldn't have been plainer. It’s not hidden what exactly he’s doing here. Does anyone else blush when they read this book, or is it just me?

God declared that even war was to be put off if a man had a new, unsatisfied wife at home. God is quite a romantic!

Deuteronomy 24:5 “When a man has taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war or be charged with any business; he shall be free at home one year, and bring happiness to his wife whom he has taken."

Song of Solomon 1:12-13 "While the king is at his table, My spikenard sends forth its fragrance. A bundle of myrrh is my beloved to me, That lies all night between my breasts."

That’s bliss, isn’t it? Sweet fragrance and your beloved lying on your chest at night, knowing that they belong to you and you only.

Song of Solomon 2:3 "Like an apple tree among the trees of the woods, So is my beloved among the sons. I sat down in his shade with great delight, And his fruit was sweet to my taste."

Ladies, have you ever looked across a small crowd that included young stud boys and seen your man in their midst? Were the boys his sons? Were you thinking, what a hunk! I’ll take my man over all of those any day!

Song of Solomon 4:5 “Your two breasts are like two fawns, Twins of a gazelle, Which feed among the lilies.”

Guys, have you ever looked over at your wife and her chest and wanted to just fall into it, felt like that’s the only safe place for you in this world?

Song of Solomon 4:9-12,15 “You have ravished my heart, My sister, my spouse; You have ravished my heart With one look of your eyes, With one link of your necklace. How fair is your love, My sister, my spouse! How much better than wine is your love, And the scent of your perfumes Than all spices! Your lips, O my spouse, Drip as the honeycomb; Honey and milk are under your tongue; And the fragrance of your garments Is like the fragrance of Lebanon. A garden enclosed Is my sister, my spouse, A spring shut up, A fountain sealed. A fountain of gardens, A well of living waters, And streams from Lebanon.”

The Lord knows what he’s doing! I’ve felt like Solomon did here in Chapter 4:9-12. Have you ever felt ravished by love, by loving someone? Like if you love them anymore or desire them anymore, that your heart simply can’t take another beat without going to them? You know their scent even when you’re not standing beside them. You remember, and you still smell it. Friends, that is the kind of love that you would have found in Eden. I think that in Eden, that kind and strength of love was returned, unlike today, where “the heart wants what the heart wants and most true love people feel goes unrequited."

Song of Solomon 7:10-12 “Let us get up early to the vineyards; Let us see if the vine has budded, Whether the grape blossoms are open, And the pomegranates are in bloom. There I will give you my love. Come, my beloved, Let us go forth to the field; Let us lodge in the villages. I am my beloved’s, And his desire is toward me.”

Scenery is important!

Song of Solomon 8:1-2 “Oh, that you were like my brother, Who nursed at my mother’s breasts! If I should find you outside, I would kiss you; I would not be despised. I would lead you and bring you Into the house of my mother, She who used to instruct me. I would cause you to drink of spiced wine, Of the juice of my pomegranate.”

Yeah, Lord? Is it okay if I leave that one alone? Please!

Song of Solomon 8:6-7 “Set me as a seal upon your heart, As a seal upon your arm; For love is as strong as death, Jealousy as cruel as the grave; Its flames are flames of fire, A most vehement flame. Many waters cannot quench love, Nor can the floods drown it. If a man would give for love All the wealth of his house, It would be utterly despised.”

If ever you have felt true love for someone, if you have loved them with all of your heart, then I know that you can testify to this! Love makes us do crazy things because it is that powerful of a force! It should be felt with caution. I’m serious. The Bible is constantly instructing us to guard our hearts.

Song of Solomon 8:14 “Make haste, my beloved, And be like a gazelle Or a young stag On the mountains of spices.”

I think I’m going to end here with that last verse. Yes, my love, come to me quickly! And come quickly Lord Jesus!

If you do not know Jesus, bow your head and pray this prayer with me:

Father God, Lord Jesus,

I believe that Your Son Jesus died for my sins and rose from the grave to save me. I know that I am a sinner and fall short of Your Glory. I need Jesus in my life and I ask Him and Your Spirit into my heart right now. Forgive my sins and and come into my life. For this, Father, I give you glory! In Jesus Name, AMEN!

Keep your heads bowed for the closing prayer. Let’s pray!

Prayer,

Father, Lord Jesus, we know that all things were made through you, by you, and for you. We know this about everything in existence. I come to you now, Lord, and ask that you block Statn from stealing away any credit that he may be trying to take from Your work in these couple’s lives. I pray that each one may know the love that is spoken about in Solomon’s Song and in Your Word, Father. May they know the love that you intended for them as it once was in Eden. Please wipe away any sins that are blocking us from experiencing this deep and divine union of marriage and remove any obstacles that the enemy may be throwing at us to cause us to stumble and fall, to loose hope of ever receiving this union for themselves, and anything else that may be in the way, for all of these things are not from You Lord. I rebuke every block and stronghold that are in the way of the true happiness of your people! Look down upon this church today, Lord, and bless each and every person within the sound of my voice so that we all may come closer to You and know You! In Jesus’ mighty name! AMEN